This electronic beast of a song from Soft Sirens premieres today, exclusively here at Pancakes And Whiskey. We will let Andrew Kluger, Soft Siren keyboardist, speak about the song in an essay below.


Death, heart break, failure, and loss suck. For sure. After the chaotic scrambling from sudden loss subsides though, there’s always been this wasteland of nothingness, post-mortem void. It’s the time and space where the goings on of the world are not only less relevant but don’t exist. When I’m trapped under my blankets for 3 days or driving on a highway in upstate New York for 3 years. All I can do is watch the sun rise and fall in steadfast and flippant disregard for the end of everything important to me. Screw you, time. Goddamn you, sun. Stillness eventually becomes too much and the tension pushing on my sternum can fuck off – so I run. Some do yoga. I run. I run through the forest. I run so I can cry louder. I run because the sticking pain of it all deserves an epic end. Cliffs are good for this. I beat my chest and pound the ocean floor and make tidal waves of my own. Scream and roar until I can’t vomit my lungs up anymore.

Something eternal lives within me that beats on past what I presumed to be the end. It’s this streaming and effervescent light. Cliche because it’s a human experience. Is breathing cliche? Maybe. When I’m crumbled and hanging over the edge of the cliff it always comes ringing back to me. This light. I’ve been calling it stardust because there’s something cosmic, microscopic, and ever-present about it. It’s what lets me stand up and unconditionally love someone who’s gone from my life. It’s what permeates the finality of loss and provides a sense of purpose and grace to a life after the despair of death.

Soft Siren’s, “As I Fell,” describes that stardust in the communion of love with another person. It’s easy to find divinity in romantic love as it pours out of your partner’s eyes. In the days, weeks, and years after I lose that pure connection, I can always imagine moments of it again, and it lets the floodgates from my heart open once more. The stardust is real. – Andrew Kluger

Be sure to catch Soft Sirens this Thursday at Leftfield (87 Ludlow St.) for an early gig with doors at 6pm.


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